Guilt, self doubt, self criticism; I should… I should have….. I should not have….., what is on your list of shoulds? As a mom, as a professional? as a co parent? as a partner?
We all carry our own long list of self criticisms, our expectations of how we will parent, pursue our careers, support our partners. Then add on a couple lists from our own parents, peer groups, in laws, media, society, and as you well know, it becomes very difficult to measure up.
Enter: the good enough approach. Certainly there are some issues or areas that this will not apply to, however, I encourage you to identify the areas in your busy life where “good enough” will suffice, and will in fact make room for more laughter and joy. Some examples might be to let go of baking your own cookies, and buy them from the store. For some it might be to let children dress themselves and let go of matching outfits and worrying what will the other parents think. It might mean changing your approach to meal planning…
Accepting that it is not realistic to be great at everything, and realizing that “good enough” might mean letting go of matching socks, stainfree clothes, perfectly decorated cupcakes, picture perfect kids bedrooms, immaculate livingrooms, missing a meeting now and then, an occasional tardy… taking the pressure off yourself allows you to enjoy the moment, be present to your kids needs in present, relax and appreciate them exactly how they are. You are modeling flexibility to your children, and this is a great asset for them to possess.
What is good enough for you? Where can you be flexible?