I never knew how motherhood would affect me until I became a mom myself. Once becoming pregnant for the very first time and giving birth to a child, not only did my perspective on life change – but so did my entire world.
It made me think about what I really wanted out of life.
It made me look deeper into myself and re-define my priorities
It made me clarify and respect my values.
It made me have new appreciation and respect for my own mother.
It made me value and appreciate my own childhood and the way I was raised.
It made me think about the impact of my actions in a way I never thought about before.
It made me take back my pre-baby judgements about other moms and their decisions.
And it certainly made me take a long hard look at who I am, and who I want to be? What roles do I play?
You see, my husbands experience of entering parenthood was not nearly as life changing for him. (He might argue this), However most notably:
He was able to return to work days after the birth, (he chose not to, but he could have).
His professional work clothes fit him without an issue.
He didn’t have to diet, workout or worry about his physique.
His hormones remained completely intact.
He was not up several times through the night to feed or sooth the baby, leading to sleep deprived insanity.
His relationships with his friends and co-workers were seamlessly easy to maintain.
He did not have to make the tough career choices surrounding the birth of this baby. He still had a job, a pay check and a rewarding career. My husband simply had to get up, shower, eat a little breakfast and return to work, life as he knew it prior to the baby.
But for me, I held onto this precious soul who napped over my shoulder, wondering where my life would lead.
I was confused about the feelings I was having – wondering about childcare, wondering how I would transition back to work, or even if I wanted to.
I worried about money – about maternity leave, about my business, about getting back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, about how I was still somewhat confused about this new sisterhood I was just inducted into.
Having a baby was certainly life changing for me.
My only hope is that with time, women will have many more opportunities to make solid career choices and decisions surrounding the work/life balance of motherhood that makes sense for them without feeling like they are giving up on a part of themselves. I’m hoping women will have more chances to find a way to make it all work.
WE ARE NOT ALONE. As I travel this motherhood journey, I realize this more and more. Don’t keep to yourself. Get to the park, build your support network. Find yourself making assumptions about other mothers? Do you assume that the well-groomed, put-together mom pushing cute twins in a fancy stroller must not have the same issues as you? Think again. She may not have the exact same struggles as you, but may have many that you did not even encounter on her journey to motherhood. So hold off on the judging and comparing. You are one of millions of thriving mamas who are trying to figure out how to balance your many “yous”.